A Victory for Gay Rights
Check out gfn.com’s coverage of how an internet dating site is being sued over it’s exclusion of gays and lesbians!
http://www.gfn.com/indexArticle.cfm?channelDesRecordID=447
If you’ve ever tried to find a date on the eHarmony.com Website you have already noticed that there is no option for gay relationships - there are no “man seeking man” or “woman seeking woman” options.
One California woman experienced this obvious lack of inclusion on the eHarmony site and is suing the company alleging it discriminates against gays, lesbians and bisexuals.
Linda Carlson claims she was denied access to membership on the dating Website because she is a lesbian. Carlson wrote eHarmony about her problem, but it was not fixed, and on Thursday Carlson and her lawyers filed suit at the Los Angeles Superior Court, alleging the company has violated California law barring discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.
The lawsuit names Pasadena-based eHarmony.com, company founder, and author, Dr. Neil Clark Warren and his wife Marylyn, the company’s former vice president, as defendants.
According to one Reuters report, eHarmony.com responded to the lawsuit by stating that the scientific research on dating the company has done is simply based on heterosexual relationships.
“The research that eHarmony has developed, through years of research, to match couples has been based on traits and personality patterns of successful heterosexual marriages. Nothing precludes us from providing same-sex matching in the future. It’s just not a service we offer now based upon the research we have conducted,” eHarmony said in a statement issued to the press.
Perhaps it is rigorous scientific research that has led the company to focus in on heterosexual-only relationships, but Warren’s ties to the anti-gay lobbying group Focus on the Family may be a more likely reason for the exclusion of gays and lesbians from eHarmony.com’s dating roster. Three of Warren’s 10 books on heterosexual love and dating were published by Focus on the Family. Warren has also been a frequent guest on Dr. James Dobson’s radio show; Dobson is the founder of Focus on the Family, an outspoken and tireless critic of gay rights based on bible scripture.
“From a corporate perspective, eHarmony does discriminate,” New York psychiatrist Jack Drescher, who is gay and treats gay and lesbian couples, told USAToday. “There’s clearly a deliberate desire to exclude gay people from the site.”
Warren, who is a clinical psychologist, started the dating site in 2000 with a “new way” of match-making using what he calls a “scientific approach.”
While other dating sites allow users to find matches using their own search criteria, eHarmony has people fill out a 436-question test designed to evoke revealing responses. These “revealing” answers cause Warren to reject 16% of those who take his patented personality test because they’re “poor marriage prospects.”
According to Warren, eHarmony “weeds-out” people under the site’s 21-year-old age limit and those whom the site decides are lying on the test. It also removes those believed to have certain types of emotional instability, such as “obstreperousness” (they just can’t be pleased, says Warren) and depression, because “depression is pretty highly correlated with emotional problems,” Warren says.
It also weeds out gay men and lesbians.
In a 2005 interview with USAToday, Warren justified rejecting gays from the site not on moral grounds but because of legal issues, saying “same-sex marriage is illegal in most states … We don’t really want to participate in something that’s illegal,” he said.
The site’s policies have recently been lampooned by a rival dating site, Chemistry.com, which has produced a series of television commercials that take advantage of eHarmony’s exclusion policy by promoting themselves as an inclusive alternative. Chemistry.com correctly posits that many people, not only gay men and lesbians, have been rejected from the site based on Warren’s “scientific approach.”
One of the humorous ads from Chemistry.com shows a man leafing through a Playboy magazine, who cheerfully proclaims after the viewing that “nope, still gay.” A large red stamp that reads: “Rejected by eHarmony” is then slapped over the image of the man. The commercial can be viewed on YouTube here.
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Girl On Girl: Hot Tips For First Time Lesbian Lovers
OK…you can’t fight it any more; you’ve always know that you had lesbian tendencies or were, at the very least bi-curious, and now you’ve decided to explore, explore, EXPLORE…
First off, you’ve got meet Miss Right (or even Miss Right Now!) and a niche dating site like PlanetSappho is a great place to start. You arrange a date - she’s just what you were hoping for…and tonight’s really IS the night..so hold on tight…
1) Making out. While making out Lesbian Move #1 can be used, namely you putting one of your legs between hers and grinding it up so that every once in a while it hits the clitoris through her pants. If done by a master of the technique (which I am not, but was done to me) climax can be acheived whilst the bottom is STILL wearing pants.
2) Clothing still on, but hands roaming around in the shirt, touching bare skin.
3) Bra removal (while shirt is still on!) **Important Note** - To mask killing the mood whilst fumbling at the catches, suck on her neck a bit so that she’s not thinking about how clumsy you are.
4) LOTS of licking/ear sucking.
5) Shirt/total bra removal.
6) Kissing/licking/sucking upper chest and collarbone area. Optional: If you’re a bit buff, reach behind her and like, hug her to you whilst doing this, tightish embraces at this point work fabulously.
7) NO BREASTS YET! Torso Teaser: Take your tongue and run it all the way down (roughly in a straight line between her breasts) until you get to the waistline of her pants, then kiss/lick/suck her stomach and work your way up.
NOW you can start in on breasts, but nipple work is last. Swirling your tongue has some fabulous facets to it, as does sucking. BDSM Option - Okay, NOT TOO HARD but just lightly enough to make it shocking, throw in a bit of a slow LIGHT bite, these are nipples here, don’t be getting too hardcore with them!
9) Now we’re ready for the big guns (since pretty much all of lesbian sex is foreplay, also, if she makes moves to remove bits of your clothing LET HER! Lesbian sex is all about playing switch and taking turns getting one another off. Multiple orgasms in combination with alternating tops make it last a LONG time.
10) Work your way back up and start making out again, if at any time during steps 2-8 you want to break and make out some more, feel free to do so, these are guidelines, not play by play scenarios, sex is a freestyle sport. Also, taking a breast (or two) in hand and kneading it (kinda like dough) is rather helpful every now and again.
11) Work on neck/ear kiss/suck/lick-ing, whilst doing so, work on the buttons of her pants, and the fly. At this point depending on HOW naked the two of you are getting, you can either go for pant/underwear removal, or just work a hand down there. **Foreplay Bonus** - BEFORE you put your hand into her pants, spend some time kneading her inner thighs (through clothes) with some open handed squeezing.
12a) Second Party Masturbation: Okay, the key here is, just think about the things you like doing to yourself during masturbation, that, and FINDING the clitoris on another person, which may take awhile. Also, don’t neglect the sides of the clitoris, and for Gods’ sakes don’t forget to relube every once in awhile. This can be taken care of rather hotly, take your middle finger and dip down, all nerves in the vaginal canal exist in the first 1/3rd of it after the opening anyway, so unless you’re hunting down the G-spot or using a strap-on depth really doesn’t matter all that much. Single finger penetration at this point, HOT! After you’ve gotten more lubrication, go back up and continue clitoral stimulation. Your hand is probably going to get excruciatingly tired, BUT KEEP GOING! Because you’re probably going to have to speed up the tempo once your partner starts nearing climax, and that hurts like a bitch, but the payoff is worth it.
12b) Going Downtown: This requires total pant removal, to remove the awkwardness from the situation (ie, her pants/underwear are PROBABLY going to get stuck at some point) spend time, when something goes awry, kissing any available skin to make your partner feel sexy and not ridiculous because her pants are stuck. Okay, at this point, Pants/Underwear Are Now Off: There it is, in all of it’s furred glory. Note: To make it easier on your partner you should really trim your bush down to a rather manageable size, because the last thing ANYONE wants to do is floss with your pubic hair, and yes, this DOES HAPPEN so be forewarned. Right, now we’re working on foreplay-ish things, because that’s what the majority of lesbian sex is (when considered by the hetero-realm), foreplay. So kiss/suck/lick her inner thighs, because they’re highly sensitive, and if you’re absolutely totally lost down there and can’t even figure out WHERE the vaginal opening is (much less the clitoris) take ONE finger (depending on how totally gay your partner is, you may only be able to use one finger at ALL during all of this, some women are tighter than others) and do slow penetration again, and then drag it up her inner labial lips until you hit the clit, then you’ve found your treasure map X. Take your tongue and do the exact same thing you did with your finger, only you don’t have to pull off penetration, just the slow upward stroke.
When ALL of this is over, you better not forget to cuddle! Lest you be likened to *gasp* some crude insensitive straight man. And who wants that?
Good Luck and Good Nights. This public service announcement brought to you to help young inexperienced lesbians everywhere!
Sarah Harris is the founder of http://www.PlanetSappho.com - the world’s most popular lesbian dating site.
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Dating for gay men 40+
Everyone journey starts with a single step, or so they say. As well as being the first step it is also probably the most important. You need to create a vision of yourself and your image, decide who and what you want to be and what you wish to communicate to others around you. This includes your dating. Decide what you want - a long term relationship, a partner for life or perhaps just a summer fling? How do you see your life developing with this person and what part do you intend to play in their life? What are you seeking in a prospective partner?
Answering these questions now, before you begin dating, will help you focus and achieve direction in dating. Perhaps you may find you need to do some work, physically or emotionally, before beginning a new relationship in which case this should be included in your goal and plan. Although remember, that which you cannot change you must accept, doing so will increase your self esteem and project a positive image to any dates you wish to attract.
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Essential Gay Dating Tips
Whether you are gay, bisexual or bi-curious, finding that perfect date can be a daunting task, especially if you are stepping out for the first time. How should you dress? Where should you go? What should you say or not to say? One thing is for sure, remember to be yourself and be relaxed. Below are a series of gay dating tips aimed at helping you make that date a real success.
The top gay dating tips:
1. Location, location, location! Choosing a meeting place is extremely important. Agree to meet at a place that is neutral, not too far from your dwellings and be familiar with the area. You would want to also choose a place that is not too noisy or rowdy, more like a quiet bar where you can both communicate and be heard effectively.
2. Concentrate my dear! Dating can always be extremely tense and nerve racking, especially if you are the quiet or shy type. One point to remember is to listen carefully to what your date has to say, this will enable you to relate and connect more easily.
3. A little bit of give and take: Share the conversation, ask as many questions as you like, feel free to talk about yourself, but also be courteous and listen to what the other person has to say.
4. What was in the past is better left in the past: Do not dwell in the past and absolutely refrain from mentioning your past relationships and negative experiences. Remember, every first date is a new beginning and should be treated like one. So, feel confident and be optimistic, stick to the present and the future. Show your date that his time is now and that you have no left over baggage.
5. Radiate: Show your inner glow and be positive. There is nothing like a positive and optimistic person. It shows a good level of confidence, which is definitely attractive in many people’s eyes. Bury your negative thoughts and think positive.
6. To hump or not to hump? It has been proven time and time again that one night stands or “hi how are you, let’s have sex” encounters do not last the test of time or more than 24 hours for that matter. If that is what you are seeking, fine, but just play it SAFE, otherwise you may want to concentrate further on the conversation and leave sex for another time. This will show that you are genuinely interested in your date and wish to take matters further.
7. Easy come, easy go: There is no need to rush the situation. Take your time, give yourself and the other person time to breath and discover how you truly feel about each other. It is not advisable to become too serious too quickly at an early stage in the dating process. This might easily scare off the other person who may not feel ready for a relationship or commitment.
8. Honesty shall set you free: There is no point in beating around the bush. Be true to yourself and your feelings towards this person. If you feel you are not getting the attention you deserve, let yourself be heard. If your interest is not reciprocated, direct your attention on somebody that will appreciated it. Like wise, if you grow dissatisfied or lose interest in the person, let it be known.
9. R.E.S.P.E.C.T: One of the most important gay dating tips is to treat the other person with the same level of respect as you feel you deserve. There is no point in wasting time and playing games, return their phone calls and speak to them. If you are not interested, have the decency of letting the person know rather than taking them on a roller coaster ride of uncertainty.
Meeting someone new is never easy, let alone dating them. We hope these gay dating tips have given you a valuable insight into etiquettes involved with dating. We wish you the very best of luck and hope that you keep these gay dating tips in mind.
Jason Sands recommends Match Maker gay dating service for free gay chat rooms and gay dating advice.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jason_Sands
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Why Join Gay Online Dating Sites?
Are you new to the gay online dating scene and perhaps feeling a little intimidated about using an online gay dating service or responding to gay personals? Let me tell you why this evolution into the online dating environment has become so popular not only with the gay singles community but with all other singles seeking love!
Gay dating and personal sites are available everyday, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from the comfort of your own home, on the train, in cafes and even in the office…you can check out new gay guys for dating at any time you want!
Don’t feel like hitting the clubs this weekend to find your next boyfriend? Join a gay dating site…you can meet gay singles from any town, city or country. The choice is endless, why would you ever limit your dating options again?
Gay personal pics and photo profiles are one of the greatest online dating inventions ever! You can see what your chosen gay guy looks like even before you meet him in person. No more embarrassing blind dates for you, only date the gay singles you are actually interested in meeting.
Most gay dating services offer continuous access to facilities such as gay chat rooms, web chat, picture galleries and other tools to help make your dating experience more interactive and personal. With all these tools, you can move your relationship as fast or as slow as you like.
Is dating getting a little expensive for you? Gay dating sites offer a cheap and effective way to enjoy the dating life. For the cost of one dinner, you could be meeting hundreds of single gay guys for over a year!
If you still have some doubts about using these online services, why not think of it as meeting new friends and expanding your social circle? It may be an online site for gay men seeking dating, but who says you can’t make friends in the process? Get to know as many single gay men as you can, who knows what could happen. You know the saying…the best lovers are also your best friends!
By http://www.GayCupid.com - a gay dating and personals site for gay singles seeking love. Visit GayCupid.com to find more interesting tips on using gay dating services.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kay_Mub
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